


Outcast

by NightFuryGetDown14



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Drama, F/M, Modern AU, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-02-07 20:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1913145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightFuryGetDown14/pseuds/NightFuryGetDown14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiccup is an Outcast, he hasn't got any friends, he hate his life, the world, his family... Since the death of his mother he's alone. He only find peace while cutting himself, he thinks that he controle it, but... does he? Only one certain blond will be able to help him. Modern AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi:) Hope you like this story... yeah that's all. Oh! I'm not english so sorry for the grammar mistakes.  
> I don't own nothing.

OUTCAST

CHAPTER 1

The story I'm going to tell you, is not an adventure story, not a beautiful love a story, neither a funny one. It just my story, if you want to listen perfect, if you don't please go away. But I recomend you to listen it, because if you are here it's for a reason.

I'm going to introduce myself, I'm Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, great name... but believe me if I say that in Berk, my city, there were worse names.

When the story I'm going to tell you took place, I was a tall, skinny, sarcastic and hopeless 16 years old teenager. I lived on Berk, it's 12 days north of hopeless, and a few degrees south of freezing to death. Well, maybe it's a pesimistic view of the city, but I saw it this way.

I lived with my father, he hated me, cool I know. I was sure that if I passed away he would have throw a party.

I didn't have any friends, the nearest thing I had was my dog Toothless. My mother was the only one that ever loved me, she used to say that I was the clevearest boy in the world, that my drawings of dragons were amazing and my little inventions were useful.

She passed away when I was nine, she died of a heart attack. Suddenly my father started ignoring me, and later he started hating me. Why? I didn't have absolutely idea.

Well, as you can see my life was a completly disaster. I was tired of this world, in the high school all hated me, except the principal, Gobber, my father's best friend. Maybe all is a bit exagerete, some students just ignored me. The ones that hate me were Snotlout, Ruffnut, Tuffnut... and the ones that ignored me were Fishlegs, Astrid and some other students. I had a huge crush on Astrid since... ever, like most of the guys at the high school, she was single but I knew I didn't have any possibilities with her. I was sure she rather prefer go out with a rat than going out with me, like most girls in the high school.

Every day before I woke up, I tried to find something that could motivate me for waking up, but nothing came to my mind, live was like a sickness for me, it killed me slowly. For that reason I started cutting myself, now a days I'm ashamed of it.

I just cutted myself a little, not do deep, when I saw the blood on my skin I thought that it was what I deserved. I just wanted to feel free, and cutting myself I felt excatly that.

And what else could I do? I thought that I was going to be an outcast for the rest of my life. Or at least in that moment I thought that, I just wanted to justificate myself for what I was doing to my own wrists.


	2. Chapter 2

Well, now that you know me I'm going to tell you my story. Let's start with the begining:

It was 7 o'clock in the morning, I woke up, took a shower... the usual stuff. I put on a pair of black jeans, a plain T-shirt and my old black converse, normal outcast clothes.

I went downstairs, Stoick, my father and mayor or Berk was omthe kitchen. If you are wondering if being the son of the mayor made me more popular... no it didn't. He was making his breakfast. He never prepared me any meals, he always acted as if I wasn't there, but with the time I got used to it. Normally I prepared them myself but on the mornings I always prefered to went to a cafe near home. Since the day my mom passed away things started to be like that. Nothing for me, I lived with the money my mother let me (which was a lot). But I just spent the necessary, just in case someday I needed more money for some reason.

I left the hoouse and in the garden I found Toothless, Toothlessmy black dog, he was my pet and only friend. I used to licked all my face, I always told him everything, I knew he didn't understood me but... I always had that strange feeling on my chest that he cared for me... it was something weird, I don't know how to explain. Maybe I was crazy and he hated me, honestly I wouldn't be surprised. Maybe it wasn't so complicated, after all he was only a dog.

When I arrived at the cafe I ordered a coffe and a muffin, I ate it while looking at the window. I found relaxing watching people walked. Some talking on the phone, some running because they were late... each person was a mistery for everyone else and that was amazing. Talking about misteries, suddenly I saw a beautiful blond girl of my age, she was heading to the high school, even in the distance I could see her ocean blue eyes, that as mine were looking at the people on the street. That girl called Astrid Hofferson was the biggest mistery for me, she was the most popular girl on the school, she was out of my league... but hey! No one could blame me for dreaming. While I was day dreaming she looked at me, blue collided green, and a faint smiled appeared on her face, I nearly passed out.

When I finished with the coffe, I headed to my personal hell... sorry I mean high school. It wss the first day of classes so everybody (except me) was talking with their friends, telling each other about their wonderfuls summers. I just stood there, near my beloved friend the corner, trying to hide from the bullys. Three moths without mocking me weren't healthy for them, I cared about their health but mine was my priority. In that moment I only wanted to go to the bath room and cut myself... so I did it. That way I would be capable of smiling at the teacher when they asked us about their summers. Hearing everybody talking about the awesome places they had visited was awful whem you had spent all summer at home.

When I finished I looked at my schedule to see what was my first class. I headed to the Math class and sat in the back of it, near a window. Typical oucats place. When the teacher came, she started saying our names aloud.

We had Snotlout my personal bulky, it was such a beautiful relationship, his friends Tuffnut and Fishlegs, (the last one was a good dude, but he hanged out with them. We had the girls too, Ruffnut (Tuufnut twin) and Heather. They were extremly popular and Astrid's best friends, they were kind of superficial and that things, but they weren't bad at all.

And last but not less important, there was Astrid (I know she was a girl too, I'm not blind). She was definitely different... I don't know how to explain it. She was surronded by a misterious aura. I always liked her because she wasn't like the other girls. She built a brick wall around herself that I was sure even her friends couldn't penetrate. She was what every single girl wants to be: she was very intelligent, beautiful, the most popular girl in the school, captain of the volley team, amazing eyes and hair... perfect. With the time I asimilated the fact that she would never be interested in someone like me, so I draw her... you know guys, usual outcast stuff.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

If you don't remember where I left my story, I was in math class day-dreaming about Astrid. Okay let's continue with this.

My next class was P.E, it was the worst class for me because the bullies could push me, throw me balls... that kind of things and excuse their actions saying that they were sport hazards. It was my personal hell, inside ny personal hell. I put my sports clothes on and entered the class. I'm going to skip this part because it was very painful for me, I doubted that after that day I could have kids

In the evenings after school since my mother passed away I always took Toothless for a walk, we used to go to the forest behind the High school. Nobody ever went there so we were alone, I didn't have to worry about bullies or my father. I was free.

Toothless loved to catch butterflies and play around and I usually draw, study and when I was depressed... well I rather prefer not talk about it. The forest was the only place where I could be alone without feeling like an outcast. I was alone because I wanted too, not because nobody wanted to be near me. But thta changed everytime I left the forest and enter the city again. I missed my mum a lot, she was the only one who loved me because of what I were. With her I was not alone, I was not an outcast. But that was about to change.

3 months later...

Those last three months consist of the same crap so I'm going to skip them.

Christmas break started and I was alone. My father was out of the city for some business and I had the house all for myself (Yay...)

On Christmas Eve I ordered a pizza and shared it with Toothless, typical chritgmas food. After eating it we went to the forest, Toothles loved the snow so he just played with it. During those holydays I especially missed my mum, she loved this time of the year. She used to say that everything looked magical... the lights, the presents, the happiness... I used to agree with her, but that changed.

I couldn't stand it anymore and I cut me, just a single line in my wrist, and a single drop of blood. It looked like a tear. I stood up and left, I felt like if someone was watching me and it was creepy. I left the forest and headed home, I didn't knew that my life was about to change, for the better.

Next day I returned to my usual spot and after a couple of minutes a voice interruped my thoughts.

"Nice dog, what he's name?" The voice said, I was shocked. I knew that voice.

"As-Astrid... what are you doing... he-here, I've... ne-never seen y-you here be-before." I said suttering like and idot, all I could think in that moment was 'great Hiccup, great'.

"I don't usually come here, it's a nice place, it's... quiet." She simply replied.

"Yes, I like... qui-quiet places, they... are q-quiet." I mentally face palmed, I was very nervous, I couldn't believe that Astrid was having a conversation with me.

"I came hear yesterday too." Astrid said.

"So... yo-you forgot... some-thing?" I asked, trying to continue with the conversation.

"No, but maybe you forgot something..." I rose an eyebrow, she knew that yesterday I was here?

"I'm sure I didn't forget anything." I replied.

"Really? Don't you forgot a drop of blood, maybe?" My eyes widened in horror, I didn't knew what to said, she had seen me. Nobody could knew it. Running was not an option, she was faster than me. I tried to change the subject, but I knew it wouldn't work

"Toothless." When I said that she looked at me perplex.

"Excuse me?" Astrid said.

"Toothless, the dog name." I pointed at Toothless.

"Okay, but Hiccup, don't change the subject." She said, great it was my only and last option. Maybe, I thought, I had one last option. Quickly I stood up, and started to run, Toothless followed me. I heard Astrid curse and later the sound of Astrid running. Every second she was nearer. I looked back to see where she was and I didn't saw a little rock in front of me. I tripped and fell to the ground hitting me hard on the head. The last thing I heard was my name.

I woke up on the forest, surely I had passed out. I sat on the ground and everything turned around. After a couple of seconds everything looked the same again, my head hurted like hell.

I look around and saw that Astrid was near me, sitting on a rock.

"I'm waiting for an answer Hiccup." I gulped, I was sooo dead.

I took a deep breath, I couldn't lie to her, she already knew.

"Ast-Astrid... please you don't under-stand. Please... go." I didn't knew how but I was stopping suttering.

"Hiccup, this is serious, I can't let you kill yourself." She replied, her voice sounded... sad?

"Listen Astrid, I'm fine okay? Leave me alone, I'm used to it. Go away and live your bloody perfect life. Act line if you don't know nothing, it'll be easy... Merry Christmas Astrid." With that I turned and left. I didn't let Astrid time to say nothing, but I heard her whispering.

"Merry Chritsmas Hiccup."

It had bee a long time since someone had say me that.

That night, I didn't cut myself.

I didn't return to the forest in one week, I was afraid of facing Astrid. It was the last day of the holydays so I went to the forest. I was depressed, school and bullies again, cool...

I arrived at my usual spot and sat, I draw for a while. Five minutes after I arrived she appeared. I curse under my breath in the name of all the God's I knew. She just stood there looking at me, I felt exposed. My mother used to say that I was an open book. She was reading me. She looked at my hands, when she saw that I was just drawing she relaxed. I decided to broke the silence.

"Hi."

"Hi Hiccup." She said while approaching me a little.

"Why have you come? I told you I was fine" I asked, I didn't mean to but it sounded rude

"Look Hiccup, I'm not idiot okay? You're not fine, not even close. I knew you were not okay, but I didn't knew you were so... broken." She replied, I was angry becasue she was acting like if she cared.

"Astrid I told you last week and I'm going to repeat it, Astrid please leave me alone! I'm begging you. I'll be fine, you don't have to act like you care, go, I won't blame you for it." I said, trying to control the anger that was boiling inside me, the anger for all those years, for all the people that laughed and bullied me.

"Hiccup, I'm not acting, I care. We have known each other since ever! I can't let you do that." And I exploded, I felt sorry that it was Astrid the one that have be in front of me in that moment. I really was.

"COULDN'T YOU COME SOONER? WHEN MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY? WHEN YOUR STUPID FRIENDS BULLIED ME? COULDN'T YOU COME BEFORE I STARTED HARMING MYSELF? BEFORE I WAS TOO BROKEN... WHEN I WAS ALONE MAYBE? WHEN MY FATHER IGNORED ME, WHEN I FELT LIKE BULLSHIT! WHERE WERE YOU ASTRID? ENJOYING YOUR PERFECT LIVE! HOW YOU DARE TO COME HERE, TO COME NOW, AND TELL ME THAT YOU CARE? YOU DON'T, NOBODY DOES, I'M ALONE! I'M A FREAKING OUTCAST!" I yelled at her, a lot. I looked at her eyes, expecting to see her angry or scared. But I knew that look very well. She was angry, but not with me. With herself.

And she did something that no one had done in a lot of years. Something very simple. She hugged me and I hugged her back. It was a very quick hug. But I smile. I was an outcast, but maybe... I wasn't so alone.


	4. CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 4

When Christmas break finished, I started my normal routineagain, go to high school, study, play with Toothless, the razor, meals at the cafe... the usual. Only one thing change, I had a new iphone, I bought it as a christmas present, (Okay, I'm kidding, I bought a new iphone but it wasn't the big new change) The new thing was that I wasn't alone anymore in my trips to the forest, and I'm not refering to Toothless, I'm talking about the one and only Astrid Hofferson.

It was... a "friendship" relationship but not a normal one, we didn't talk in the high school corridors, or do school projects together, we didn't look at each other in the high school, we were only together in the forest, we found a new place, hide behind some trees, It was "our secret place" it had a lake and a cove, we call it The Cove (original, I know) we didn't talk to much there, we sat and looked at Toothless while he played. Every time we met she punched me in the arm, and said "You're an idiot", but I know she said it in a good way. I drew in my sketch-book and she read, she was like a policewoman, she was only there to control that I didn't cut myself. Sometimes we made our homework, I helped her with Sciences and she helped me with English. It's a relationship, that in Biology is called Mutualism, two members of different species (Astrid a popular girl, and I an outcast) help each other. Sometimes we talked about trivials things, she told me about her favourites bands, which are The Beatles, The Killers, Fine Young Cannibals and Dexys Midnight Runners. Her favourites books are Harry Potter and Percy Jackson books since the day she told me that I listened every day to that groups, and read the books, that way, we could talk about it, and I felt more close to her. I did my best to penetrate that "brick wall" and see what is inside.

When the "meetings" started , we always went there on mondays, wednesdays, fridays and sundays. From 7 to 9. We didn't agree in this, it happened... or something like that. When it started, I start cutting myself less and less, it was my record, I didn't tell Astrid, but I think she knew it.

This friendship, started becoming more conventional, we send messages each other, and talked by the phone a few times, short chats, but it was a good thing.

She recomend me good songs and groups, thanks to her, my musical taste nowadays it's much better, I started listening more often to The Beatles, The Killers, Dexy's midnight runners, The Jam,Fine Young Cannibals, The Smiths... she showed me a new musical world. Thanks to me she became, interested in art, I showed here photos of the most important sculptures and I lend her my copies of the most famous books, she especially likes Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, and showed the most famous movies.

Now we are on May, when we go to the cove, the temperature is much better, and we can lay on the grass, it's relaxing. Right now, I'm heading there, with Toothless at my side, when I arrive I see her, she's laying on the grass, I sit next to her, as usual she punched me and say "You're an idiot", inmediatly, she put up my sleeves, to see the scars, there are only a few new ones, the others are fading away, she looks at me with disaproving eyes, but she smiles. "Sorry" I don't now why apologize, but I always do it.

"The scars are better, I know it's hard Hiccup"

"Yeah... How are you?" It's curious how things change, if someone woulf say me 5 months ago, that I will have normal conversations with Astrid, I'm sure I would have laugh at him.

"Tired, we're practising so hard for the volley competition"

"Don't worry, you're going to win, you're the Great Astrid Hofferson, aren't you?" She laugh

"Yes... I suppose"

"Supositions are for the idiots, like Snotlout, you have to comfirm it"

"Okay, I'm the amazing, beautiful, clever and cool Great Astrid Hofferson" I start laughing

"Hey...I'm sure I only say Great"

"But you were thinking the rest" I blush, because I was thinking the rest, but I now she say it to mock me, so I hide my face.

"Sure... How are your tests going?"

"Perfect, thanks to you, teacher Hiccup, I've got an A in Biology and Pysics"

"Cool, but I don't really see me as a teacher, people would't respect me"

"And we don't want all of your females students to fall for you, don't we? With your charming personality..."

"Ha ha ha, so funny, I think that passing so much time with me it's affecting your sense of humor"

"Oh no, I've been infected by the Hiccup-Humor please kill me I can't stand this anymore" we both laugh at this.

"You know, the cool, clever and amazing Hiccup-Humor suits you" I really meant it, it's nice to have someone who understand your sense of humor, and I think that the Hiccup-Humor makes her sexier, obviouly I'm not going to tell her that, I might have suicides tendences, but been murder by Astrid is not in my To do list. Sometimes she's like a viking, it's scaring.

"Yeah... but everytime I jock with my friends they don't catch it"

"Maybe is because your friends are dumber than a rock, than a stupid rock...They are not the brightest lights, it's obvious"

"I know, but they can be fine"

"Yeah, they are too considereted, they don't bully me after lunch"

"Well is a start Hiccup, that way you don't throw up your lunch" I rolled my eyes, and suddenly she punchs me.

"Hey, what was that for?"

"That's for rolling your eyes while I'm talking to you… idiot" I stand up while looking at my watch, time to go back home.

"Okay... bye Astrid, come on buddy we're going" He appearred behind some bushes with a grin in his face, I start walking, when two arms hug me tightly

"And what is this for?"

"That's for everything else"

I smile at her and keep walking, seconds later, I hear her voice saying

"Promise me you'll be strong Hiccup"

I know what she were talking about, I looked at my wrists and whisper, "I promise..."

When I got home, my father and brothers were watching T.V."Hi" I said, they obviously heard me, but they ignored me. That night I broke Astrid promise, again... I pick my iphone and sent her a message -sorry- was all it say, the thing that I don't know what was the fact that... that night I wasn't the one who cried.

Next day, when I was in the corridors of the high school, an unexpected event happened, Astrid followed me, and when nobody was watching us, she punched me.

"That's for breaking my promise" and I smiled, I know it wasn't something to smile at, but I was thinking on another thing, she cares, the Great Astrid Hofferson cares for the Outcast Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, and that was absolutely AMAZING.

It all began when I started cutting myself, and in that moment I was sure that I was, little by little, starting cutting Astrid's brick wall.

Since she punched me at the high school, things changed, when were in class, we sometimes look at each other, and sent each other notes. In P.E. when we had to do exercises with pairs, she did the "I'll pair with the Useless" little perfomance, all the class sent her pity glances, thinking that se did that to save the others to be paired with me, but she really wanted to be with me..

It felt amazing, to have someone to talk to, ask for advice, laugh, share opinions of books or films... To sum up, to have a friend, it was a new thing for me, she was my first-best friend.

Now, I'm heading to the cove, we are going to watch Psyco, Astrid haven't seen the film, it's my favourite movie, so I'm excited to know what she things about it.

"Hi Astrid, I've bring the movie"

"Hi idiot, and I've bring the popcorn, but promise me it isn't scary"

"Only some scenes, I'll warn you when they come okay?" I obviouly not going to warn her, she think's I'am an idiot or what? (don't answer that question) I want to see her reaction when the famous "shower scene" comes.

"This is going to be funny..." I whiper

"What?"

"Nothing, come here let's start the movie" I turn on the laptop, and the movie start.

Since we watch Pysco, two weeks ago, Astrid punchs me as hard as she can, I think that she's afraid to go to the shower now...

Things lately have become worse home, normally, my family ignored me, but now the notice me but not in good way.

Now I've to cook all the meals for them, only for them, I have to do all the household chorus, it's exhausting, I don't now why all this have start, it's like 7 years ago, firts they ignored me, later hated me, i'm afraid of what can be the next.

I was in the foresg, waiting to Astrid, when I start thinking how things begin, one day, when I came back from the forest, my father started shouting at me saying "YOU THINK YOU CAN LIVE IN THIS HOUSE FOR FREE? I'LL TELL YOU, NO. FROM NOW UNTIL YOU GO AWAY FROM THIS HOUSE, YOU'RE GOING TO DO ALL THE CHORUS, INCLUDING COOKING THE MEALS" I was shocked, now I have less time to study and go to the forest, and in my little breaks, I've got more time to...

"Hey Hiccup"

"Astrid, how long have you been here?"

"For five minutes , you were day dreaming or something, what's in your little sturdy head of yours Hicc?"

"Nothing... just thinking of the "argument" with my father last week"

"Oh! Talking about that, let my see your wrists"

"It's not neccessary, Astrid, they're better" I don't want to show them to her, i'm embarrased, but she's sturdy, she put up my sleeve so fast that I can't do nothing, she gasps.

"Hiccup, what have you done? You break my promise again, you tell me thay you were better Hiccup, you... you pro...mi-s me" she started to cry, and my heart broke in two halfs. I'm a monster she cared for me and I've failed her, my eyes were starting to water too, I blinked a few time, and I hugged her, I don't know what else I could do, I don't know how to comfort people, but hugs relaxed me, maybe that made her feel better to.

"Sorry Astrid, I promise you that this time it won't happen again... sorry" but I didn't believe in my own words.

Things are so complicated now, I start cutting myself because I was hurt, it was only supposed to be painful for me, but I made Astrid cry, and is my fault, all is my fault, I wasn't supposed to be born, I'm a failure. I broke down and started to cry too.

I don't know, how much time passed while we were both crying. But in that moment, we were both outcast, for once in my life, I don't saw Astrid as the popular girl she is, I saw her as an outcast, as a break girl that is under pressure, the school, the family, the volley, I wasn't the only one that was break in the inside, maybe my problems were bigger, but for her it wasn't easy too. She was exposed, and I saw it, I saw inside her brick wall, I Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third was the first person to ever see behind that brick wall, I saw a little blond girl, crying hugging a brown teddy bear, because in the inside she's an outcast too, on the inside all of us are outcasts.


	5. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 5

Since the "incident" or whatever you want to call it, things between Astrid and me were strange, I think that Astrid felt exposed, because she never cried in front of people, she knew I wasn't going to mock her or something like that, maybe she had a lot of things in her mind.

At home, things were weird too, I had enough so I stopped doing the meals and the chorus, in fact I only do that for two weeks, but believe me if I say that it was exhausting. Barf and Belch are disgusting.I did my best to avoid my father. I was sure that if he saw me he will shout at me, as loud that even the Japanesse boy that I used to play online with, will hear it. So I started waking up earlier, and I only returned home at night, when he was asleep or watching T.V. I studied at the cove and sometimes at Astrid's home. She even invited me to had lunch or dinner with her family, she's and only child, so it was only Astrid, her parents (both of them are lovely, I'm sure they care for me more than my own father) and me. Her mother cooked amazing, so I never refused one of her invitations.

Things were starting to get better for me, but I didn't knew...that I was in the eye of the huracan.

Today, when I was in my usual table having lunch, at the corner looking through the window, Astrid started heading in my direction, suddenly all the people stopped talking, I thought that Snotlout was going to bully someone, maybe me, or that two people were going to fight, I looked for curiosity, and in the case that in Snotlout was coming, to start running (and maybe shouting like a little girl) but what I saw was much... beautiful. I saw Astrid coming, putting her lunch in my the table and sitting in front of me, and in that moment I knew that I love her (I'm kidding guys, you believe it?) Okay, so in that moment I was sure I was going to faint, like most of the people there, but I drank a little of water, and in the end nothing happened. (Sorry for the ones that wanted to laugh at me, next time l'll do my best)

"Hi Astrid... Do you want me to go to an other table or..."

People started whispering things like "I can't believe it the Useless have just talk to Astrid" "He's going to die" or "since when that guy have been in this school?" Seriously?

"I don't care anymore Hicc, you're my friend, so I sit with you" The next thing I heard was a colectice gasp and Snotlout saying "You Useless, don't you dare to steal my woman"

"Snotlout, get over it, first you're disgusting and second, I'll never be "your woman" okay?, if you're going to cry or something, please go away, I'm sure that even your tears smell disgusting" Everybody started laughing at this, and he went running to the toilets.

"Wow Astris, that was... amazing, thaks"

"Don't you feel so important idiot I was dying to say this to him since... I met him, more less" She smiled while punching at me, she always punchs me on the same spot, since this friendship started, I have a scar in my right arm. But it doesn't hurt.

That day, in the corridors, everybody look at me like if I had two heads, whispering things, but they were careful, they think that now that Astrid was my friend, if the called my Useless, push me, mock me... They will have to deal with Astrid, something, like you can see, is not good. Not even Thor will dare to face her when she's angry. In all the classes, she sat with me and chat, even the teachers looked surprised. That day Astrid was excited and worried at the same time, next day, she had a very important volley tournament. It last only one day, but she have to play 10 matchs. Teams of the near cities come here, each year the tournament is held by the school that win the last, if you're not extremly idiots, you'll realize that last year Astrid's team win.

When the "Great Day" came, Astrid was extremly nervous, she was repeating to herself, "I have to win, I have to win, I have to win" For an hour, she thought that if her team lost, it will be her fault, she's so competitive, she always wanted everyone to be proud of her. She didn't realize, that everybody was very proud of her, like me. I'm her number 1 fan, if you don't belive this, I have a badge that proof it, Astrid gave it to me, she asked me to wear it for the tournament.

So I went at 12 o'clock to the Berk's High School gym, with my badge on my green T-shirt. The first match had just started, I don't understand how volley works, so I'm going to sum up this, they win 7 matchs, and the tournament.

When we were at the cove, the same day, she was enthusiastic, she told me about the plays, the good and wrong moves she did... I said things like "yeah, oh I notice it too, obviouslu, yes, of course..." like if I understood what she was talking about.

When I was happily heading home, I didn't looked if my father was awake before entering the house, when I slam the door, I saw him, awake, looking directly at me.

"You have been avoiding me since you stop doing your chorus, haven't you?"

"Dad, I was busy..."

"DON'T CALL ME DAD! You're not my son, I order you a simple thing and you ignore it, well, I've enough, I'm busy too to take of a useless teenager, go pack your things and never return,YOU HEAR ME!"

"Yes da... I mean, Stoick"

That was my worst day since my mother died, I pack my things, crying, I took my clothes, books, photos, money... I put my keys on the table and slam the door, I called Toothless and we both started running to the forest, when I arrive, we enter the cove, lay on the ground,and I start cutting myself while crying, a lot, I couldn't control it, I saw a lot of blood, all started turning black, I hear Toothles barking, and I faint.

I woke up, the next evening, I was very pale, there was a lot of blood in the ground, I couldn't move, I felt horrible, I was starting to faint again when I heard a scream, her scream.

Astrid came running and hugged me, she was crying...

"Hic...cup, what ha...ve you done? C...an you hear me? Hic...cup, say some...thing ple...ase, stay awa...ke, for me..."

I opened my eyes again, but she didn't notice it, she was crying and sobbing on my chest, I felt horrible, but her touch made me feel... something that I can't describe, maybe is what people in movies called "butterflies in the stomach" I was recovering little by little and when I was able to talk I try to catch her attention.

"Astrid, I'm okay, I only faint, I lost a little of blood" when she heared me, her eyes light up.

"You idiot, I think that you were dying... you're an idiot" She punched me, on her usual spot.

"Hey, I "almost die" and you punched me, what was that for?"

"That's for scaring me, you idiot, I come hear to our usual meeting and I see... blood and you laying on the floor... and Toothess barking... I was scared okay?"

The next thing she did, was the most incredible and unexpected thing I ever experienced. She kissed me, the Great Astrid Hofferson kissed me right on the lips, on my mind I was screaming like a little girl, I felt fireworks, just like in a love movie. It was a quick kiss, but it was a kiss, an amazing K-I-S-S.

"And what was that for?" She smiled

"That's for everything else"

She was the only one that could transform the second worst day in my life into the best day. I had a goofy smile in my face for half an hour, I wasn't worried about the fact that my father hate me, that I had no home, that my life sucks or that I almost died a couple of hours ago because I lost a lot of blood. That was my past and future, but we have to live in tbe present, and my present was amazing, because the girl that I always liked, draw and day dream of had just kissed me, the world coul let my without home, father, friends, but nobody will ever be able to let my without this kiss, this feeling or even this girl.

I'm an outcast, I have't got a lot of things to fight for, but the couple of ones I've got, I'm going to fight for them until the end, if I die in the process... I don't care, I'm an outcast, it's an occupational hazard. From now until the end I have three things to fight for, Toothless, Astrid and the remember of this kiss.

In that moment, I thought, that maybe, being an outcast teenager with suicidal tendencies is not that bad in the end.


	6. CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 6

If you don't remember where we left the story, Astrid just kissed me, so let's continue.

We both sat and look at the ground, it was extremly akward, what are supposed to say to the girl you have just kiss? Something like "great we should this more often" or what? So I just looked at the ground, which by the way was very beautiful, it had grass, a little rock, a couple of ants, and... what I thought was a little of my blood.

When I saw the blood, I realize that my scars hurted... a lot. I think I looked at them, and Astrid saw it because she gasped.

"Hiccup, I've forgot about... that, you need to clean this" she gestured to the scars

"Come let' go to my house, I'll help you"

We stood up, and start walking when I realize I had forget my backpack, which had all I have left.

" Astrid I need to pick my backpack, wait a minute"

When I returned, Astrid looked curios to see me carrying a backpack bigger than me.

"Hiccup, it was only a trip to the cove, as usual why are you carrying all these things, it is not like if you're going to live there"

"Well Astrid... in fact, I'm going to live there, my father bump me"

"Hiccup, why didn't you tell me? I have a guest room, and my parents won't mind"

"First, I was unconscionous, and second, I can't live in your house, it isn't a couple of weeks, we have one more year of high school, and if you tell your parents, they will call the police and my fathee is the mayor, what would people say if they found out that their mayor hate his son?"

"But Hiccup, I don't care about your father, I care about you, and if i explain it to my parents, they won't say nothing, but first of all, let's clean the scars"

When we arrived at Astrid's home, she clean up my scars, and we went to her bedroom, it wasn't what you would expect of her, it was so warm... with light pink walls and a lot of books I look at the titles: Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, The perks of being a wallflower, the Hunger Games, Divergent... And a lot of CD's of the Beatles, The killers, of monsters and men, Queen, Imagine Dragons, Fine Young Cannibals...

She had a white table with her computer on it, a big bed and a closet.

"Wait here Hiccup, I'm going tell my parents, they are watching T.V. downstairs, and don't worry... my mother likes you, she says that you're such a good boy and extremly polite too"

With that she went downstairs, in that moment I hoped they didn't let me stay, I thouht it will be akward, living with family you don't belong with, even if they're better than mine.

I stayed in her room for 10 minutes, when I heard Astrid entering the room, she was smiling, I knew what that meant, and I felt relieved, even if less than one minute ago I prefered to stay in the cove.

"I told them about your father, don't worry, they won't call the police, and you can't stay until you won't to leave"

"Wow, thaks Astrid, this means a lot for me, to live in a house where i'm not hated, and don't worry, I'll pay you for the food, light, water..."

"Hiccup, my mother was sure you'll say that, she said that the only thing that you're going tto pay for, is a dinner, when you left the house, you'll invite us to dinner, deal?"

"Deal"

We shook hands, and later we hugged, we separated when we hear Astrid's mother opening the door, we were both blusing, redder than a red tomato, and it was only a hug...

"Oh my dear!, Don't worry, you'll stay here,don't think for a minute that you're going to live in the forest, you're going to stay in the guest room okay?, and call me Plhegma"

"Okay, and thanks Mis...Plhegma, I don't know how to explain my gratitude"

"Don't worry dear, and Astrid told me about your dog, he can come indoors, at nights it's cold outside"

"Thanks, I'm going to put out my stuff"

I went to the guest room, It was green, similar to Astrid's one, the window had an incredible view of the forest, since the moment I entered that room, I knew that it was perfect for me.

I was unpacking my things when I heard a knock on the door

"It's open"

Astrid entered the room, and sat on my new bed, she indicated me to sit too, I sat and she started to talk.

"Hiccup, this is my home, and I made the rules, so I want you to give me your razors, all of them, don't hide anyone, or I'll make sure that you don't have kids in the future"

I was surprised, I want to refused it, but she was right, her home, her rules, and I knew she did it for me, so gave her all of my razors, I thought of the possibility of hiding one, but I knew I would regret it, it was painful, they had been my "friends" those last years, but new home, new life, and I dind't like how sounds the idea of not having kids in tbe future, and not for the kids part, I don't know if you know what I mean...

"Good boy"

She leaned and give me a quick peck on the lips, and with that, she stood up and stormed through the door, I was astounded, in like two hours or less she kissed me twice, I was sure that I could get used to it, and I did it.

When we only had one more day before summer holydays, my life couldn't have been any more perfect, I was like one more member of Astrid's family, it was amazing to know you had someone that cared for me.

Astrid and me, weren't official a couple, but we wete definitely something, we gavd each other pecks (never in public) and hold hands in our walks through the forest.

We hadn't discuss the nature of this relationship, but anyway, I loved it. We talked about all, except our relationship, we kept talking about songs, movies and books, but we started talking about our feelings, secrets... we didn't had secrets between us, I told her about my mother, and how I reacted when she die, I told her about how I started cutting myself, and how all changed when she discoverd me.

She told me that she always felt alone until we started talking, even if shw was the most popular girl in the high school, she always thought that she didn'g belong here, just like I did, that she wanted to leave this small city, where everybody knew everybody. She wanted to study in Harvard, she wanted to be a doctor, to help people, I told her that I was plannig on going to Harvard too, (it is the nearest, big and good university from Berk) because she didn't want to be so separated from her parents, that reason dind't bother me. I told her that I wanted to study Psychiatry , because my mind was so messed up that I thought it will be amazing to help people with messed minds like mine.

So we became extremly close to each other, she only needed to look at me directly at my eyes, to know if something was bothering me. I started running on the weekends with her, she always slowed down, because I couldn't catch her, neither my breath. But I wanted to work out, I dind't want to be a scrawny talking fishbone for the rest of my life, and maybe that way I coul impress Astrid a little bit, but in fact, she found guys who presumed f their bodies disgusting, like Snotlout.

When we entered in the high school, everybody was chatting happily about what they were going to do that summer, while I went to my locker, to pick some books, Astrid went to talk with Heather and Ruffnut, I began hating them less, until the point that I only dislike them, they were Astrid's friends after all, she told some nice things that they do, but they still were two little spoiled prats.

When the classes begin, everybody was enthusiastic, at the point that I thought that I was inside High School Musical 2. Normally, I'll stay in my house alone, but Astrid's parents invited me to their trip. They were going to Harvard, to saw if is what Astrid wanted, after all we only had one year to decided. And later they were going to Canada, I only went out of the city on school trips and before my mother passed away. It was so exciting for me, apart from the fact that I was going to vist awesom places because I was going to spent all the summer with Astrid. Only the thought of that make me want to dance, sing and jump. But of course, I dind't do it, since the people knew that I was Astrid's friend they respect me, more less. Only because they were afraid of Astrid bug I dind't care. I wasn't afraid of going to P.E. anymore.

"Hey Hiccup, have a good summer, I didn't see you at your home yesterdsy"

"Oh, thanks Gobber, I was...walking with Toothless, bye!"

I couldn't believe that my father didn't told Gobber about the incident, he was his best friend after all.

I was heading to the door, when I realize that i was alone, everhbody had go out the school, I was opening the door, when a small hand wrap around mine.

"Hey Hiccup, were you planning on going home without me?"

"I though that you were outside Astrid"

"No, Ruffnut Heather and I were talking in the corridors, well let's go"

But instead of opening the door, she leaned on me, when we where kissing, we heard a gasp. Ruffnut and Heather were in front of us.

"Okay, hold on , you two are dating and you didn't tell us"

I looked at Astrid, and we do the more mature thing we could think of, we started to ran. When the summer ends, it would we time for explanations (or maybe not), but in that moment it was time to ran. But of course, running outcast style.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

You remember that I told you that I was going to a trip to Harvard with Astrid's family? Well the story continues when we where there.

We had just arrived at Harvard, it was amazing and beautiful, the thing that impres me the most was that it was huge! In Berk everything is little, but this was very big, maybe a boy from a more less big city wouldn't be impress, but for me it was, I looked at Astrid, and she seemed impress too.

There weren't a lot of people, only a couple of familys, doing a little tour around the campus, like us. We walked all around the campus, it was very cool, I knew that I wanted to study there no matter what, I hoped that Astrid think the same, the idea of being again the freak-outcast didn't sound well.

"So what do you think of this place, do both of you imagine studying here?"

"Definitely yes mum, what about you Hiccup?"

"Obviously, this place is amazing, and enormous, I'll need a map to move around here"

"Your father and I are going to the cafe near the parking, do you want to come or do you want to keep walking around?"

"We'll stay mum, bye see you later"

When Astrid's parents weren't in sight anymore, Astrid took my hand, and looked at me with dreamy eyes

"Hiccup, imagine us here, laying on the grass, studying or reading, or chatting or... I don'g know, something, it will be perfect!"

"I know Astrid it will be cool"

Beep beep, Astrid looked at her iphone and groaned

"Hey, what's up?"

"It's another text from Ruff"

She showed me the text

Seriously Astrid, are you dating the Useless, and don't lie to me, Heather and I saw you two kissing.

Since they found us kissing, they sent Astrid hundreds of texts asking the same, she ignored of all them, but it was exhausting for Astrid I thought that she wanted to throw her mobile to a lake...

But in some way, I thought that I understood them, the most popular girl dating the useless? It was kind of imposible, it was a good thing for me, that it wasn't.

"Ignore them Astrid, you'll tell them, what ever you are planning saying when you see them in person"

"Okay, but I haven't absolutely idea of whst I'm going to tell them"

"Don't think about it, enjoy the view!"

"Are you suposed to be "the view" that I have to enjoy?"

"Ha-ha-ha, it's not funny"

"You are a good view you know?"

"Yeah, I know Astrid, evry girl at school say it to me "good view, you stupid useless" they all are lovely"

Astrid laughed at this, and I rolled my eyes

"You're an idiot, do your fans say that to you"

"Yes, there's a certain blond girl, blue eyes, captain of the volley team, who remains that to me like... one thousand times every day, do you know who I'm talking about?"

"Yeah, I had talk with her a couple of times"

"We're weird and stupid you know Astrid?"

"Talk of yourself idiot"

We both head to the cafe walking side by side, enjoying the silence, It wasn't and akward one, it was relaxing, she smiled at me, and we entered the cafe. Astrid's parents wave in our direction.

The trip to Canada was amazing, we visit a lot of awesome places, all was green and peaceful, I loved so much that place, I made a mental note of returning when I finish college, to make a longer trip, I tell Astrid about the idea, and without even asking, she said that she wanted to go with me. It will be epic.

We had another month of holydays, and Astrid and I, went often to ran, every time we ran, I could ran a little faster and ran for a longer period of time. She proposed me the idea of tryimg to join the cross team, it sounded tempting, I liked to ran, it made me feel free, when I ran I dind't think of the fact that I hadn't cut myself for a long time and I was a little anxious.

Astris checked everyday my scars, she was afraid that I fell again, it was nice to see her caring for me.

Toothless joined us in our little races, he loved to run, he was faster than us, but he always ran at my side. He loved the new house, he could enter, and sleep in the living room. Astrid's mother gave him the rest of our meals, and he loved them

He was sad when we left to Canada, but we couldn't carry him with us, we left him a "hotel for dogs". The people that worked there said that he enjoyed it, and make a lot of dog friends. My dog was more popular than me... great.

We finished our races in the cove, we carry there a few pillows, blankets and food, we were tired when we arrived there.

As usual, Astrid and I talked about all, from the dumbest and stupides things that cross our minds, to more important things. And sometimes, I say sometimes, we had our little make up sessions. Astrid was worried about the Heather and Ruffnut thing. I understood her, what would people thing if they found out that Astrid Hofferson was with Hiccup the Useless Haddoc? She was not ashamed of our relationship, but it was her last High School year, and she wanted to make her best of it. She wanted to be the prom queen, and the president of the students, she wanted to have a perfect curriculum, to be sure that Harvard will accept her.

I didn't think o the future so much, because the present was the best time of my life, and I dind't want to think what will happened with us in the future. What would happened if only one of them dind't enter in Harvard? They'll be separated, and Astrid wiil make new friends... they idea of losing Astrid was... weird, she was they only one to ever understood me. I that if i losed Astrid, I'll start cutting myself again.

"What are you thinking of Hiccup, I was to talking you?"

"Nothing important... what were you talking about"

"The Heather and Ruffnut thing"

I groaned, again?

"Astrid, you have been talking about that all summer, how do you expect me to listen to you everytime, look, I've the answer of you problems, say that I kiss you, and you were going to stop me when they interrump us, when they asked about what was going on, so tell them that you ran because you were shocked and disgusted"

"I can't tell them that okay? People will start talking about that and making fun of you again, I don't want to hurt you Hicc, what about if I tell them the truth? That I like you and we are not exactly dating, but we are a... thing"

"No Astrid, it will ruin your reputation, this is your year, and nothing is going to ruin it"

"And what if I don't care about what the others think about?"

"Astrid, please stop okay?, enjoy the moment, and like The Beatles teach us, let it be"

"Okay, but I only stop because you have just say and incredible Beatle thing, you put them in a normal conversation like nothing, and Iove that"

We kissed for a while, and when the sky start to get dark, we return home, Toothless barking happily, while me and Astrid, were holding hands.

It was so un-outcast that i felt... weird, i felt like a normal boy with a normal live, living in a normal world. It was a good kind of weird.

Astrid's parents weren't home, they were having dinner with some friends, so we ordered a pizza and watch a movie, Harry Potter and the prisioner of Azcaban, it was my favourite movie. When the movie finished, it was 12 o'clock, we talked a little about the movie and went upstairs, we went to our bedrooms and slept, it was a normal day, I was so used to having unusual days, that I felt like if something was missing, a bully, a razor, my father yelling, my brothers making fun of me... I slept in peace, knowing that all was alright, that there were no danger of my father interrumpting my sleep, or my brothers... I dreamt about my mother, i was telling her about my new life, she was so happy for me, but sad because of what my father had done to me, she hugged me and wished me good luck with all, i smiled and wake up. The first thing I saw were a pair of sea blue eyes and a mess of blond hair. The eyes were looking at me, softly and caring, the hair tickle my cheeks, and a pair of lips kissed mine.

"You drool while you sleep idiot"

"Mmm... thanks? Anyway, why are you stalking me while i sleep"

"I wasn't stalking! I wake up earlier than usual and I was bored, and you're funny while you sleep, drooling and rolling"

"If I were the one looking and me, you'll call me stalker"

"Maybe, but it's not the case so..."

"Okay, okay"

This was, the most strange and amazing morning ever, you don't usually see the most beautiful girl in Berk stalking you while you sleep.

It was... how coul I describe it... oh! I've got it. It was an un-outcast way to wake up.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

I remember the first day of the last year of high school, the begining of the end.

I felt excited, things were going better in my life, I thought that maybe this was going to be my year. If Snotlout didn't bullied me that year, it will be the best year since I started high school.

I packed my things, had breakfast and waited for Astrid, five minutes later, she was ready too. We walked all the way to school in silence. She was nervous, she didn't know what to tell them, I was scared that if she said that we were an item, all the boys will try to kill me or something, they were always competing for Astrid, trying to have more muscles, be the stronger boy... all that things that Astrid hate in a guy, if they had to eliminate me to get Astrid, they wouldn't doub it.

Once, Astrid told me that she always thing that I was the cutest boy, the others were always trying to impress her and I only tried not to faint when I talked to her, or sutter. Before all of this started, I only were able yo say to her "Ast...ri-d, Hi...As-tr...id" When we had Berk's high school on sight, I squeeded Astrid's hand, and she looked at me with worried eyes.

"Go, we better stay a little separated, maybe if they don't see us together they'll forget about all"

"Okay... But they're a little dumb, but in this kind of things, they never give up or forget"

"Well, bye Astrid"

I entered alone, it felt strange to be alone again, I saw Snotlout and his gang looking at me, like if they were predators and I were a peace of meat. They had to be cautious, they didn't know if I still were Astrid friend. It was awesome to see how all they were scared of her, but at the same time, they respected her a lot.

I sat on my first class, the teacher was giving the usual "first day of the new school year" speech. I watched Astrid, she was between Heather and Ruffnut, they were whispering, and Astrid seemed angry, I was sure that they haven't forget about the incident. I couldn't hear what they were talking about, I hoped Astrid will tell me later.

At lunched time, I was sitting on my usual spot, near the window. I watched Astrid while she entered the room. She started walking in my direction, and sat on my table.

"Well, what did you told them?"

"I told them the true, I dind't want to lie, I'm not ashamed of this Hiccup, but I told them not to go telling everyone, I don't know if they're going keep the, we'll see"

"Wow! That was a very brave thing of you to do"

"Thaks idiot, so how is going your day"

"Well, you know, everybody talking to me, inviting me to parties, saying that they'll vote me if a present for president... the usual"

"Oh cool! My day was exactly the same, well with a little different, mine was real"

"Ha ha, you're the funniest person I ever met you know that, I'm going to nominate your for the "funniest person of the world" award.

"Oh, don't do it, I won it last year, I want to give chance to people like... you"

When we finished lunch, we went to P.E that day we had the try-outs for the sports teams. The captains made the aspirants do a little demostration of what they could do, if they like them, the picked them, I never participated, I dind't want to make a fool of myself in front everyone.

All of the stundents, were in the gym, they were giving the captains of the differents teams their names for the try-outs. Astrid was exhausted, all of the girls wanted to joined Astrid's team, it was the coolest, because Astrid was the coolest. I saw her waving at her, and I headed in her direction.

"Hey idiot, you should try to join the Athletics team, I'm sure you'll get in"

"I don't know Astrid, they don't want an useless on their team"

"Oh, come on Hicc, do it for me pleaseee"

She looked at me with that sea blue puppy yes, so I end giving up, and do it.

I went to the Athletics captain, I saw that there were not more than 10 names in his list.

"Hiccup Haddock"

"Okay, the try-outs begin in 15 minutes, oh! By the way my name is Thuggory"

"Okay, see you later"

I knew the guy's name since I started high schoom, he was with me in some classes, he was a good guy, he never made fun of me.

The volley try-outs were the first, Astrid only let join 8 girls, out of 30. The next try-outs were of football, soccer, hockey, cheerios, and the last, Athletics. I was scarex, everybody looking at you...

The proof was simple, 50 metres sprinting and later a race between all the aspirants of 75 metres.

I was the last one to race, I looked at Astrid and she sent me an encoraugement smile. I ran as fast as I could. I did the second best time, I was proud of myself, i've never be second in sports events.

We all were prepared for the race. When I hears the whistle, I started to ran, I was starting to slower my rhytm, when Astrid shouted as loud as she could.

"Come on Hiccup"

I started running faster and end second, again. But it was okay. Thuggory said, the names of the ones who entered the team. Two other guys and me, I couldn't believe it. I felt to arms hug me, it was Astrid.

"I told you"

"Thanks, Astrid, imI can't belive I make it"

"Well... I can" I smiled at her, she was the only one to believe that I could made it, even I didn't believe it.

Since that day, I started running every day for an hour. Toothless was so happy with this.

Sometimes I ran alone, and sometimes with Astrid. She was busy with the volley team, it was her last year, and she wanted all to be perfect, to have A in all her test, win all the matches, be elected president and queen of the prom... I found it exhausting only by hearing it, I didn't know how Astrid did it, did she eveb sleep?, I wasn't sure.

We did the homework at the cove, when se had time, and study there too, it was easy to concentrate there.

I was doing my best at Athletics practices. All of the team were extremly fast and resistant, I improved slowly, little by little. We had 3 hours of practices every week. All of the guys were nice, they didn't bully me in the past, so it wasn't a violent situation. All my bullies were located in the football and hockey team, the strongest and... dumbest of they high school, and inexplicably, the most popular guys, and most wanted by the girls. All the girls of the volley team, and the cheerios, dated them or wanted to date them. All of them except the most beautiful and popular of them. That inexplicably, was interested in me, the useless and outcast of the school.

With all of that things happening in my life, I didn't think of my family. I hadn't seen my father since he bumped me, not even my brothers. I really don't care about them anymore. Thanks to them, I lived in a house were all apreciate me, and were interested in my life. Only returned from the high school, entered the house and be greeted by a hug and a "how was your day Hiccup" was amazing. Phlegma, Astrid's mother was very good with me. She told that she was one of my mother's friend. Sh told me litte things and details of my mother that I didn't knew, and knowing then made me feel a little bit closer with her. Astrid's father was very kind to me too. He was such and interesting man, he told me amazing stories about his travels around the world. Once we went fishing, it was nice to have someone to do father-son things with, even when that man, wasn't my real father, but he acted more "fatherly" than mine. I never did that kind of things with my father. Not even when I was an only child, and my mother was alive.

My relation with Astrid was still weird, I dind't know if we were friends or dating. In the forest we were like a couple, kissing and holding hands, but out of the forest, we rarely do anything like that. I was afraid of asking her what our relation was about, maybe she get angry and bump me of her house. It isn't that I dind't like to be with her. It's only that I was confused. I was thinking of asking her "oficially" to be my girlfriend, but I was scared of the possibility of Astrid saying "No".

I was thinking about all of this, while walking down the street, heading home. I had just finished the athletics practice. I was happily listening to music, I watched the people in the streets, some of them were going for a walk, some buying different stuff. It was a lovely evening, the temperature was excelent. I got a message of Astrid

"Hey idiot, where are you, dinner is ready in 15 minutes."

"Okay, in five minutes I'm there."

"Why are you so late anyways?"

"We do an extra long practice."

"'kay well see you."

"See you Astrid"

I put my phone in my pocket, while I started crossing the street, I didn't look if a car was coming, so I dind't see the car.

They only thing I coul heared were screams, and ambulance and later I lost conscience.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

ASTRID P.O.V

I sent a message to Hiccup, he was late, and the dinner was almost ready. When he answer me back, I put my phone on the table and continue doing my homework.  
When dinner was ready Hiccup hadn't come back, I sent him a message again, starting to get annoy at the boy, but that time he didn't answer me back.

"Astrid where's Hiccup?" My mother asked me when the dinner was ready, I shrugged.

"I don't know mum, he told me that he was coming." I explained as I checked my phone again.

"Go search him, or dinner will get cold." My mother said before returning to the kitchen.

 

I put my shoes on and start running, he usually came by the main street, as I ran I thought of dozens of ways to kill him. When I turned the corner I saw a crowd looking at an ambulance, I thought thay maybe Hiccup was in the crowd so I slow down and approached the crowd as I wondered what could had happen.

I walk through the crowd, looking for him, when I was at the front, I looked at the ambulance, I heard people saying that someone was hitted by a car, I pursed my lips thinking of the poor person. I looked at that "someone" at my heart stopped to beat, I was expecting to find him in the crowd, not to see him there, because he was Hiccup, he had texted me a while ago..

"HICCUP!" I yelled without realizing nor caring that a crowd of people had their eyes fixed on me.

One of the ambulance assistant looked at me. "You know this boy?" He asked as be put a gentle hand on my shoulder.

I was shocked, thinking that it was all a dream but I was able to nod, it was horrible, I knew that he was alive, but it was obvious that he was unconscionus. The same question repeating on my head over and over 'Why him?' Between all of the citizens of Berk it had to be him, the boy that had lived through a lot of bad things, when things were getting better... I couldn't breath, I thought that maybe the air had dissapear, it was and anxiety attack I needed air but I didn't found it.

Someone pick me up, it was a doctor. He pushed me in the ambulance and he gave me some tips to regain the breath, during a couple of minutes, I only concentrate on breathing, like if it was the most difficult thing in the world, when I was better, the doctor talked to me.

"He's your boyfriend?" He asked.  
I didn't knew what to say, we weren't officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but we were a very important something, I said the easiest thing that I could think of, I didn't want to explain to a total stranger the nature of my relationship with Hiccup, that I even didn't understand. And I was afraid that if I say no, they wouldn't let my stay with him.

"Yes"

"Okay girl, don't worry he's going to be alright." He assured.  
I looked at the doctor's eyes, and I didn't find the security that I was looking for, I didn't blame the doctor for giving me faulse hopes, but if he had a little more security while saying it, I would have felt so much better. I couldn't see Hiccup, he was behind some kind of wall, I could hear the doctors talking but I wasn't able to understand what they were talking about. I was almost into teats and my head hurted like hell, but it didn't matter to me, the only thing that I cared for in that moment was behind a wall.

My phone started to ring, I looked at the screen, it was my mum.

"Astrid, where are you, you went out to find Hiccup 30 minutes ago!" She explained in a exasperated tone of voice.

"Mum... I found him." I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"So?"

"Meet me at the hospital." I didn't give her time to answer, before she had processed the information I had already finished the call.

My eyes felt weird, I think I wanted to cry... it was weird, Astrid Hofferson never cried... what was happening to me?

When we arrived at the hospital, everything happened very fast, they carried Hiccup inside shouting things that I didn't undestand, I entered behind them, a nurse guided me to a chair, I was surronded by people waiting to their familiars or waiting to be attended. 10 minutes later my parents arrived and they hugged me for what seemed an eternity.

"Dear, what happened?" My mum asked, concern in her voice.

"I don't know mum." I whispered as I shooked my head.

"Hiccup Haddock?" A doctor called, I jumped off the chair, be looked at me. "Are you a familiar?" I shook my head.

"No, I'm his girlfriend." I muttered, not very sure if my parents had heard me, but by the look on their faces I supposed they had.

"He was hitted by a car, he lost a lot of blood and was injured, he's left leg was pretty bad, we had to amputate from the knee to the feet, it was they only way of keeping him alive, now... he's in a coma, we don't know when is going to wake up. It seems like the accident didn't hurt his head, believe it or not, he's a lucky boy, if you want to visit him, room 204, secon floor to the left." We walked in silence through the corridors, all was white and smelt to anthiseptic, my mother was the first to broke the silence.

"So... Astrid, you didn't tell us that you two were dating." I rolled my eyes at my mother's comment.

"We are not dating mum, it's complicated, beside now it's the last thing that I want to talk about." I replied harshly.

When I reached Hiccup's room, I saw two people inside, a doctor and a nurse.  
"Hi, a doctor told me that Hiccup was temporaly living with them, right ?(we noded), I'm Gothi, I been in charge of Hiccup surgery, as you know Hiccup is in coma, we don't know for how long, the good knews that there is a 90 percent of probabilites of him waking up." The doctor explained with a reassuring smile.

"And the other 10?" I asked cautiously. Gothi, sent me a meaningful glance, my knees felt like jelly, there was a 10 percent probabily of never seen his green eyes again, or hear his nasal voice, or his stupid and ironic jokes, never kissing him again, never telling how much he meant for me, or..

I closed my eyes not letting the tears escape them, my mother hugged me and guided me to a chair. I sat, I heard my parents talking in whispers to Gothi, I saw the nurse adjusting some machine that was conected to Hiccup, all was blurry, all was unreal, it was like if it was a movie, and I was sitting, watching it, like one of those movies that Hiccuo loved to show to me, Hiccup...

I looked at him he was so pale... I could see his auburn hair, he had grew so handsome this past months at school I was so over proctetive, I heard what other girls say of him... and now he was lying in a bed of an hospital, unconscionous. All for my fault, I made him joined the Athletics club, if I hadn't make him instead of returning of the practice he would have been at the cove, save. If I hadn't sent him a message, he would've seen the car. All was my fault, I was an idiot. And he ended paying my stupidity.

At 12 o'clock, my parents returned home, I prefered to stay at the hospital, near him. I put my chair next to his bed, and lied with my head near his shoulder, I cried all night, in that moment that I was alone nothing refrained not to do si.

In the morning, my parents came back and brought breakfast for me. I ate it, but I wasn't hungry. They tried to make me go outside, but I refused, I stayed all day with him listening to nothing but his breath.

Days passed and I didn't move from his side, except when I went to the bathroom and when I took Toothless for a walk, my mum carried him to the hospital, and I walked with him a liitle, both of us were depressed and sad, he didn't go catching buterflies or playing with everyone anymore he knew that Hiccup wasn't okay. I stopped going to classes Ruffnut and Heather gave me the homework and returned it to the teachers they were they captains of they volley team while I was missing. The teachers came to the hospital to made my tests it was a very nice thing of them. My parents talked to them, saying that I refused to move, so ended agreeing with that.

Hiccup didn't make any progress, any signal or move that indicated that he was going to wake up, I talked to him, doctors said that talk to coma patients sometimes helped then to leave the coma. I told him that I missed him so much, that things weren't the same with out him, that Toothless was sad and didn't play anymore hoping to hear one of his sarcastic comments, but he never answered back...

My parents and the doctors, were starting to worry about me,l I was angry with everyone always shouting to them when they try to talked to me, but I couldn't do anything else I couldn't sleep I cried all nights, in the mornings I was tired amd grumpy. They told me that it was better for me to retur home, that they'll called me if something changed, but I couldn't I needed to be there when Hiccup woke up be the first thing that he saw, or in the worse of the case be there to heared him exale. I couldn't go I felt like if I was betraying him, I didn't care anymore about being the president, the volley captain, the most popular girl... I only cared for him I think I was becoming crazy, but I dind't care. I felt weird like if I was alone, I had never experienced nothing like that, I felt... like if the world was in war me fighting alone against the world everybody trying to persuade me to return home, when it was obvious that I didn't want. Nobody say "hey, if it's what she want, we should let her stay" nobody respected my decision, they didn't understood that I felt guilty, that if I left I would think that I didn't care for him, and I would cry so much that the world will drowned in my tears (okay maybe that day I felt like exaggerating all).

One day, looking at Hiccup, I realize that I knew what was that feeling, that I was feeling since everything started I felt exactly like Hiccup when he told me that he was alone, that nobody loved him respect him or supported him, I started to cry I didn't know why but I cried because I felt more connected to Hiccup than never. I felt like an outcast, I smiled I was an outcast, just like him.


End file.
